cleaning out my room has become a monthly project. school starts up in four days and i want to have my living space free of clutter; it’s refreshing. i went through a lot of clothes, washed them all, went through drawrs, etc. my closet is on the bigger side and i’ve decided i’m going to make it a nook with floor pillows, etc. for a cozy, creative environment. lately, i’ve been wanting to build up my own personal library. i want lots of books. the problem is, i can’t just sit down and read. i really want to but i’ll sit there reading for ten minutes and my attention draws out somewhere else. walt whitman’s leaves of grass is the only piece of literature strong enough to captivate me. i’ve been reading it for years though. every now & then i’ll pick it up and read a few passages, underlining and taking mental notes of what i really enjoy and relate to. my ma bought me a book called “thousand mile song” by a man named david rothenberg. it’s a combination of science, music and psychology. three of my favorite subjects to embark on. this man would play music from his clarinet or saxophone in the native habitats of whales from russia to canada to hawaii. it’s about a journey trying to understand nonhuman minds but the relativity to it. a cd is embedded on the back page of whale songs/his songs put together. it’s so neat. i need to read that.
i also stumbled upon a book called “be here now” by dr. richard alpert, ph.d/baba ram dass. it’s a journey about a man who describes his life in three stages: the social science stage, the psychedelic stage and the yogi stage. he talks about experiences from having contracts with yale and stanford to intrapersonal psychedelic experiences. 70% of the book is drawings from his travels that he created with words of wisdom and mindfucking statements that appear to be on paper bag-like texture. it’s really fascinating, i loved it. that, i also got through. i bought it for thom also for his birthday, i hope he really digs into it, i know he will love it.
yesterday while clenaing out my room, i stumbled upon a bag with birthday cards from just this past june. apparently i never really went through them because i found 40 bucks in cards when going through them to throw out. interesting that i kept it and checked what i would be keeping befroe doing so. with this book obsession lately, i ended up going to barnes & nobles and buying four books: “aesops fables”- translated by v.s vernon jones, “the wonderful wizard of oz”- by l. frank baum, “the interpretation of dreams”- by sigmund freud, and “the origin of the species”- by charles darwin. these are books i’ve been wanting for so long so it must have been needing to happen.
i’m looking forwards to the spring semester… i had a whole month off and i really didn’t do much except spend time with close friends, my lover, my family and work on organizing my space. i’m glad i had a month off, but having a schedule keeps me in line. i need some form of structure. i created my schedule so that i could work while going to school, but my parents don’t think i can juggle both + social things. i hate to admit, but i kind of agree. i miss working, i need to start saving. i have so many things i want/need to do that require cashmoneyflow. last semester kicked my ass. i had two sciences with labs (bio & chem), a 6 credit math class and an english class. i took a 17 credit semester. what’s interesting though is that i already have 24 credits under my belt after once semester at OCC. i’m so ahead of what i should be because of taking summer classes and “early out” in highschool. as of now, my gpa is a 3.28… which is a-okay, i’ll take it! before this past semester it was a 3.6. this semester i really want to kick serious ass though, so maybe it’s a good thing i won’t be working, as much as i hate it. maybe i’ll make side jobs for myself. i need to look really good for rutgers becuase if they don’t accept me into their school of environmental & biological sciences program… i’ll be crushed. i won’t know where to go. stockton sounds like shit to me. if that be the case, i’ll go away hopefully or just do lots of internships in the new england area for experience in marine sciences.
i also decided that i want to start writing again. this is a good start for me though, i created this just to keep documents of what’s been going on with me lately sometimes it’s hard to keep track. a lot of this is word vomit but it’s healthy to document and remember and express. i made this a month or so ago, but i made private entries that when looking back, i was embarassed. not a good sign. safe to say those are deleted. password protected writing takes away the glorifying feeling of word vomit, so no more of that.
on that note: i am very grateful for what i have and what i know and keep harbored in mind. there is no limit to what a person can know and retain, they are tangible keepings and free ideas that are always waiting and ready to be put to use.
